The holiday season is usually time of happiness, family reunions, and traditions. However, for over half of the nation who experience divorce or separation, the holiday season can feel cruel and heart wrenching, especially when surrounded by jolly neighbors, coworkers, and friends who have no idea what you are going through. Here are a few tips for getting through the holidays after your recent divorce or collaborative divorce:
1. Focus on others.
The spirit of Christmas is the spirit of giving. Find ways to focus on other people and to serve them genuinely and generously. Try volunteering at a local school, homeless shelter, or around your community. Helping others can often get your mind off of your own troubles, while simultaneously making yourself feel joy.
2. Keep old traditions, but embrace new ones too.
While old traditions may bring up memories of past holidays spend with your ex-spouse, it is important to keep some things the same, especially if children are involved. Children feel secure with routines and traditions so sit down with them and figure out what old traditions you want to keep as a family, and what new things you want to embrace. Finding new traditions can be exciting for not only your children but you too. It gives you a positive opportunity to try something new.
3. Find happiness in the little things.
There are so many happy things to celebrate during the holiday season. It is perfectly okay to cry and feel sad; however, the rest of your family (in particular your children) will often feel it. Find every little thing to be joyful about this holiday season and share it. Your spirit is contagious, so try to find the silver lining every day, especially during Christmas.
4. Prepare to feel emotional and be okay with it.
Regardless of how hard you try to be happy, the holidays are a potent reminder of the happy times before your divorce. It can be an emotional time for you – from anger, jealousy, depression, and sadness. You will most likely feel a whole array of emotions. Allow yourself to feel those feelings. Know that this is normal and okay!
5. Keep things in perspective.
Don’t go overboard and try to buy your kids everything they’ve ever wanted just because you feel guilty for your divorce. Give them the gift of love and attention instead. In addition, remember that you are not the only going through a divorce this holiday season. There are others who know exactly what you are going through. Try your best to keep perspective and know that your first (second, third, or fourth) holiday season post-divorce won’t be picture perfect, but you can still make the best of your circumstances!
Contact Your Family Law Attorneys Today
Do you have a friend who is looking for a family law or collaborative divorce lawyer in Greenville, NC? Refer them to Gib Irons at Irons & Irons, fill out our online form or call him at 252-215-3000. We hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year!